Saturday, September 26, 2009
Yup..I am off on a journey to the Holy Land for 3 weeks..the longest I am going to be over there.
It was a mixture of emotions when I was told I have to fly there..for once I didn't feel like going there. Why, I asked myself?
Is it because of the amount of work that is going to be left behind here while I am there?
Or
Is it because I am going to miss SS? Countless time I have told myself I shouldn't miss her too much for fear of hurting myself if it doesn't work out. But yet, it's difficult to do so...
Perhaps I should learn a thing or two from Mother Teresa who said that; "I have found a paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love"
Till then..I will update my adventures in the Holy Land when I have time..Don't miss me so much!!Labels: Random Thots
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Monday, September 21, 2009
It has always not been my forte in the art of mind games during courtship.
Friends who have known me for god-knows-how-long will know that I am too straight-talking a person to do so. I don't mince my words and don't beat around the bush when I express my thoughts. Sometimes I do have to admit, people do get the hurts when I speak too direct.
But when it comes to courtship, I wonder why there's always a need to craft the words/msn/sms that we say to the other party.
Simple things like;
"Yo, interested in going for a run tomorrow?"
have to be crafted into something like this;
"Yo, hoped you enjoyed your weekend thus far. I would be running at ECP tomorrow and was wondering if you would like to join in the fun. No worries if you can't!! =) "
You get what I mean? When talking to the subject of your interest, you have to portray an image which is fun-loving and yet not so needy so that they won't feel guilty when they reject you. Why can't things be simple, in terms of yes and no? I am just a fun-loving person who likes speaking my mind and being myself. So, why do I have to put on a mask and act to mask my true self?
And when it comes to courtship, why do we have to peg a timeline to "get-the-job-done" after knowing the person? A month, a week, a couple of days to get her to be your girlfriend? Close friends of mine have said that if you really like the person, you should target to "get-the-job-done" within a stipulated time frame for after that, she would had understand you and will just strike you off the "this-is-guy-I-like" list. But if she is girlfriend by then, she would have no choice but accomodate all the bad points.
I can never understand such concept at all. To me, I rather we start off as friends for a period of time, to understand one another better before committing to a relationship. Why do we have to resort to all these tactics?
Why can't things be simpler just like when I was back in secondary school? If things had worked out back then, we would had been happily married with a couple of kids (I think). Ok, out of topic..
Guess mind games are just a waste of time and brain cells which I can use it more efficiently elsewhere.Labels: Matters of the heart
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Sunday, September 13, 2009
Had a "consultation" seesion with the gang just now to seek their opinions.
The odds now stands at 50-50. And if I read the situation correctly, she is also uncertain of what she should do next and now is doing the same thing as I am doing now; Seeking opinion and advice from her close friends.
Somehow and somewhere, I think I have screwed up something. And this will have serious ramifications on whether things will work out between us. So, upon the advice of the experienced ones, I am going to take a hiatus from this for a few days to plan my next course of action and also to act as cooling period for both of us.
So hopefully things will return to normal...Labels: Matters of the heart
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Thursday, September 10, 2009
Finally I am back to the harsh world of hurt.
Diving in Maldives was excellent and the best dive I had so far. It also marked the milestone where I broke 50 dives barrier. The visibility was excellent, the marine and coral life was so vibrant. In practically every dive, I will see sharks (white-tips and hammer-heads), something I don't see when I am diving in Malaysia.
I saw practically all the big stuff that everyone yearns to see, less the elusive whale shark. Well, there will be other opportunities.
Well, many of my friends and colleagues who were concerned about the outcome between me and SS must have been pretty disappointed. Its not that things didn't work out..its just that, there weren't any answers at all. I did told her in my exact words at the airport; that after this trip, I am beginning to like her more..that's it. And she was stunned at this confession..I text'd her eventually telling her that I meant what I said and that I didn't want to stress her, hoping that things will work out eventually for us.
For now, I will just let things run its natural course. Even if it ends up in disappointment, it is still ok for I am used to it.Labels: Diving
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