Heavy rain, thunder, lightning - the perfect ingredients to remain under covers, have a nice steaming mug of coffee and big English breakfast of scrambled eggs, fried mushrooms & tomatoes, toast with vegemite and few slices of English bacon.

But making the comfort breakfast can only happen when;

a. You have your own house;

b. You have a grinder cum coffee machine;

c. The Empress Dowager is out of town

This aside, you were just relieved that you were not up there battling the lightning and strong winds. But then again, which sane pilot would risk the life of others by heading up into the treacherous skies and challenge Mother Nature at times like this?

Definitely not you..

To pen this entry at this ungodly hour can mean only 2 things; either you are on duty or you can't sleep. But fortunately, the duty of watching over the skies have been handed over to the more capable generation of defenders of the skies. The answer is pretty clear; that you can't sleep.

Despite the fatigue, your mind is in overdrive, filled with the demands that's been heaped onto you. The capability development and the organisational restructuring exercise coupled with the other assigned extra curricular activities have taken you away from your primary tasks of building up your section's capabilities. 

There are times when you feel your brain is throbbing away, threatening to shake itself loose from it's confines. Even though knowing when to drop everything and destress yourself with a run, it doesn't seems to help. Indeed you are feeling extremely stressed out and perhaps its time to call for a holiday/staycation soon.

In fact, your cousin was asking when you would heading down-under to visit them as it has been quite a while since you have done so. Perhaps you should take the opportunity to head on down for a couple of days to destress.

When your motivation for the week goes down the drain, it can be rather disappointing.

But just like life which throws lemons at you, you have to take things in your stride and utilise these lemons to make lemonade to quench your thirst. Well, at least it gives you more time to refresh yourself on the procedures & hard-earned knowledge. 

Yet, finding information of the training area can be a challenge as it's not as readily available like that in the US. After seeking the help of your good friend, aka Google, you had to resort to asking your friends in the industry for the charts. With their kind assistance, you managed to obtain the approach charts and the airport diagrams.

For those who are still trying to figure out what you have been blabbering about all along, its about flying. Yes, you were supposed to head up the wild blue yonder across the border for the first time in 2 years. But due to a scheduling issue with your instructor, the flight has to be postponed till next weekend instead.

Nonetheless, you are still excited about the prospect of finding back that long lost freedom of flight. Finally your headset & knee-board will join you in the quest for freedom again. 

As with every toddler that's sprouting teeth, the little one is always finding something to chew. Even when the little one is your car enroute for meals, he will tend to wriggle about, trying to get his hands on your flight jacket to put into his mouth.

Today, he has gotten sick of the jacket and saw the yellow ducky that's been placed out of the way, wedged between rear headrest and windscreen. Tried as he might to wriggle out of his grandmother's firm hold and stand up to reach for ducky, it still eludes him.

One day, he sulked, he will get his little hands on that elusive ducky and chew on it, just like the poor giraffe, elephant and snake on his pram. But, the smart uncle will find a way to keep it out of his reach. 

The game of hide and seek continues.... 

You had an interesting dream which you thought that you should pen down before it gets erased from the memory bank. 

This dream revolved around someone which your life revolved around once. In your darkest hours, her sudden appearance was a surprise. Like an angel from the heavens, she came back and took you out of the darkness and brought you into the sun. The smile and that twinkle in the eyes was the pillar of strength for you to continue on despite the challenging times.

Even though dreams will never happen in real life, its always good to dream. 

In a couple of weeks time, you would be attending the graduation ceremony with your classmates. As with any graduation ceremonies, you had to wear a gown for the event. Given that its just a graduate diploma program, you were pleasantly surprised of the gown requirement as you didn't wear a gown during your time in the polytechnic diploma program.

Indeed, things have changed as polytechnics are considered tertiary institutions and similar treatment had been accorded to diploma graduates less the wearing of the mortar board. But to wear a gown meant that you have to rent the gown from Serangoon Broadway at a cost of $180 ($150 refundable), which you thought can be a significant sum for diploma students. Notwithstanding that, if one would like to bring guests, the tickets cost $13 each. You didn't remember paying for any tickets during your university days. Oh well, you are just complaining how the school likes to make un-necessary money from students 

Graduation ceremony aside, you were also surprised to be selected by the school to write a short note about your experience in the program. Given your average grades, to be selected to do so was a honour. After a period of reflection, you penned your submission and submitted it for their marketing collateral.

  

Given the burning desire to get yourself back into shape (even though some may quip that round is also a shape) and to destress, you have been disciplining yourself to run at least twice a week and to hit the gym once a week. While the starting phase was a challenge to the dormant body, the years of hard exercises have made the transition bearable. Notwithstanding this, the DOTS scene of the troops running bare-chested has also been the inspiration to get yourself into fighting fit shape.

Even though your pace per km can no longer hit sub-6 mins, you are grateful to be able to maintain a sustainable pace of between 6:20 to 6:45 per km. You just have to manage your own expectations and not push yourself too hard as you are not that young any more. 

The feeling of being able to sweat it out and decompress after a long day of work is something that you always look forward to. It clears up the mental storms that rages in your mind and allows you stay focused on the journey ahead. Besides clearing up the mental storms, it also alleviates the guilt of beer consumption and unhealthy food.

But the feeling of running solo can be literally, lonely. When you see couples running in cadence, you are struck by feelings of sadness. As you run, you wished upon the stars that someday, someone will run beside you, with you, till both of you can't run no more.

Oh well, just another crazy thought from a crazy person.

You know things are not going well when you (instead of your HOD) are summoned to the palace by the Empress Dowager (those who are following the SGAG series will understand). It seems like the proposed organisational restructuring did not pass muster and was literally torn into pieces by the two key members of the 朝廷.

The interesting thing was that you were left out in this exercise as it was helmed by your HOD with inputs from the rest of the HODs and direction of the bosses. But having been plucked into 朝廷's way of thinking since you joined the organisation, you knew that it would be in your department's interest to start working on the alternative proposal. And while the product is still being cooked (it has to be presented to the King on Monday), you knew you have been on the right track all along.

While this re-organisation is going to be earth-shaking and will change the way things are being done with plenty of resistance, you knew that its important in order to stay relevant and competitive. It's akin to an earthquake on the Richter Scale of 10.0 with an accompanying tsunami which will wipe out the power base of the old-timers. 

You know that this tasking will create plenty of enemies and be cursed for generations to come. Despite putting on a strong front, you feel like a rabbit running in a defensive manner while the vultures are circling to start their attacking run. Gone are the days where you can speak your mind without worrying too much. Now there are many things that you have to keep to yourself for you don't know who to trust.

Nobody will understand the level of mental and emotional stress you are under. You won't cry because you told yourself you will not cry. Without a pillar to lean on, the only way to destress is to go for long runs and seek solace among the soothing waves of ECP. You just hope that you will not crack up.

Its going to be a long battle. 

In the recent months, you have noticed that you get breathless easily when you having conversations and the resting heart-rate are in the high 70s to mid 80s. Your amount of sleep has also increased from the normal 7 hours to more than 8 hours.

While your former boss opined that all these symptoms may have been attributed to a heavy work load and studies, you are worried. Despite the recent "all-clear" given by the flight medical, you are worried that it may be an underlying heart problem. You are not going to leave anything to chance, you are going to get those fitness tracker to track your sleeping patterns and the heart rates before progressing to a blood test.  

But you have been careful with your health. You are exercising, (even though the exercising routine has been less than ideal) and watching your diet like a hawk; removing a huge amount of sugars from your diet, watching the alcohol intake (maximum of 2 beers or a bottle of wine a week), reducing the fried stuff and even the favourite potato chips.  

Perhaps you need to go for a long break and have a good rest.

You have been reminded again that the job of a leader is a challenging one. The expectations of your job requires you to be fair and not nice. You must be professional and not mix personal emotions with work. As a leader, you also need to have that strategic picture in mind and be objective in the decisions you make, no matter how unpopular it may be. Unfortunately, not many people are able to subscribe to this school of thought.

In a recent conflict among the colleagues, you had to exercise your formal authority in resolving it in order to preserve the department's integrity. Prior to this episode, this individual was noted to have taken medical leave on several occasions and there had been a backlog of work. Notwithstanding that, you have observed on various occasions that the mentor has been silently helping him with the work for this individual was only interested in doing work which is perceived to lead to recognition which made him feel good. 

While you understand that the mentor was being nice, you questioned her on the fairness of her actions. Was it fair to the rest of the colleagues and the entire department? But this individual placed himself on the moral high ground through the use of social media (not a smart move) by indicating that he has been victimised. It created such a stir and led to many clarification sessions with your peers in the other business entities. Not only you had to clarify this issue, you also had to manage the morale of your colleagues who felt that the accusation was unfair.

It also didn't help when your colleagues highlighted to you that he perceived you as incompetent. It was a disappointing accusation given that you have stuck your neck out for this individual on many occasions. But you also know that your conscience is clear for everything you have done is above board. 

Even though this individual has tendered his resignation citing the desire to pursue higher education, you felt that one should not resort to such blame tactics and burn bridges for the community is a small one. Once word goes around, his fate in this community is effectively sealed.

Indeed it has been an upsetting day which was made worst by the fact that you didn't make it to the next round of Scoot's pilot interview. This is the second time you didn't make it and you are wondering if you are meant to fly as a commercial pilot at all. But after putting yourself through a long (and humid) run, you know that you are going to make it one day.

You have linked up with a Singapore-based instructor who would be able to put you through the flight currency up in an airport across the border. And that's what you will do..to keep the passion of flight alive.. 

In your recent commutes, you always notice this middle-aged couple doing their morning and evening walks together. The wife (one can surmised that the wife is a former stroke victim by her movements) would be holding the hand of the husband as they slowly walked around the neighbourhood. Separately, you would also notice some couples holding hands as the guy drives the partner to work.

Some people may be wondering what's the big deal about hand holding as its just a casual matter. But you beg to differ. You always felt that holding the hands of someone special is a casual yet intimate act which you enjoy a lot. The way your hands are intertwined and the warmth of each other's hands has always been a source of comfort to you.

Perhaps you are someone who is insecure and needs a form of assurance that everything is going to be ok. Sometimes, after a hard day of work, the simple act of holding hands, makes you feel connected to your partner. If she happened to have a rough day at work too, this act will also alleviate the stress she feels.

At such a late hour, your brain finds difficulty in articulating the feelings that hand-holding brings to you. But for those who have been on this path before will understand what you meant.  

As much you wanted to stay labour-free on this long Labour Day weekend, there's still work demands which required your attention. With a competitive business environment, one has to constantly be plugged into the latest developments in order to have the first-mover advantage.

And so that's how your Saturday morning was spent; high-level morning coffee strategy meeting with the bosses to work out the game-plan before heading out for your annual NDP photography duties. Despite the afternoon torrential rains, the heat can still be stifling. The heat just sucks the life out of you just like how you suck the bubble tea through a straw.

No matter how many bottles of water you guzzle, nothing could beat a cold beer beverage to cool off the burning body. But these days, that built-in RWR (military parlance for radar warning receiver) just "spikes" your conscience whenever you lay your hands on an ice-cold can or glass of beverage. No matter how you try to reformat the RWR, it seems to have been hardwired with the algorithm "The amount of calories from that beer you are about to drink will just wipe out the calories you have just burnt from the running you just did".

Sigh.

Once "spiked", your consumption is just limited to that one glass/can of beverage and you just have to work it off by running more frequently. Unfortunately, your discipline seems to be waning with early morning runs being replaced by evening runs. You can't seem to wake up early enough to take advantage of the cool morning to run despite getting up to 8 hours or more worth of sleep. 

But at least you have started running again. While the distance covered is nothing much compared to what you have covered with J years ago, at least you are starting on that running journey again. The only thing you hope is that your body would be able to take it without any major parts breaking down.