Sunday, July 30, 2006
To Fly, what it means to me..
[10:34 pm]
An interesting question isn't it? To those in the know, you guys know how much flying means to me..my love for flying is akeen to that of an emotion a man would feel for his wife.
To quote a friend of mine; "To fly is a dream..one which will not disappear forever..it is not an interest for interest will die off with time..but with a dream, you know you can achieve it if you put in the effort.."
I had always loved the exhilarating moment when the plane accelerates along the runway and breaking free from the chains of gravity tying us to the earth..with the song of the engines, the shadows playing with the wheeling wings as the plane banks and the fluffy clouds so beautiful that makes me feel so vibrantly alive...that the gates of heaven are opened to me once again..
And to quote the greated flying ace ever, General Adolf Galland; "Flying is more than a sport and more than a job; Flying is pure passion and desire, which fill a lifetime."
So hopefully, I can hold on for six years and fly when the time comes..
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Should I or shouldn't I?
[10:05 pm]
She has already started her aircrew training for a week and she getting stressed out. She's had being harassed by the exam bug and for someone who hadn't hit the books for 10 years, it can definitely be a challenge.
For me..it's also a challenge.When she starts flying, the time available for us to go out will even be lesser. Already, she is busy with her training and I am busy with my work..how can we go out?
After seeking advice with a friend whose girlfriend happens to be flying too, I realised the insurmountable challenges facing me.
1) Because her flying schedule is pretty irregular, when she's flying and you are in the dumps, she won't be around to comfort you. When she's not flying and you are working, it's the same thing, you won't be able to accompany her.
2) I must be able to forgive her for all things she might do in a heat of the moment. Rumours about aircrew's doing something wrong are pretty well-known and if she really crosses the boundary, will I be able to forgive her readily? But then again, she ain't my girlfriend for now..
3) The fact that she will earn more money than me should also be made known here. Aircrew's basic pay and flying allowance will definitely be more than mine..so expect her to have expensive tastes..
Now I am pondering, should I or shouldn't I maintain the status quo and not tell her how I feel? For once she starts flying, things will definitely change..will I be so magnimous? Will I be able to take the loneliness?
So many questions and no answers in sight...
Labels: Matters of the heart
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Convocated!!
[12:31 pm]
Argh...yes!!...after cracking my brains and bursting a couple of blood vessels, I am finally wearing the gown and the mortar board wih the rest of my friends!! The wait for my turn to go up the stage to receive the paper was kinda anti-climax though..
Imagine waiting for more 45 minutes just for your turn to go up the stage!!! Even the Chancellor who was giving out the certificate was shagged out!!In the end I got mine from his replacement, our Dean. It was a day where all of us became stars of the day. All of us were running around taking photos with our friends and professors.
And to let you guys have a look at how it is, take a look at some of the pictures I have uploaded. And to those of you who owed me my photos, please give them to me..thanks!!
The Babes..
Members of 2L2C
My long time friends
Drinking buddy and the "Minor in Maths" kaki
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Sunday, July 23, 2006
What I aspire to be..
[7:15 pm]
An officer with a human touch..treat my subordinates the way I would treat my children..to spur them on when the going gets tough, to ensure their well-being.
Why do I aspire to be this type of officer when I can be a bastard type? I have met my share of commanders and working under them had given me insights into how a officer should behave. Their humane yet firm approach had aspired me to be an officer with a personal touch, not one who treat the men like maids.
Besides that, I also hoped to improve on the Gentlemen part..gentlemen as in Officer and Gentlemen. I know I am not exactly the typical officer and gentlemen material..more of the ah-beng and cussing officer type. One look and you wouldn't think I am an officer...so I think I need to assert a quiet confidence and reduce on the cussing portion..
So hopefully I can be an Officer and Gentlemen by the time I finish my service in the Force
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Things that we often overlooked..
[11:59 am]
are the relationships we have with our friends and families. Very often, we use our jobs as a pretext to absolve ourselves from the guilt of spending more time with them.
Sometimes our need to suceed in life is the course of it all. So much so that we put all our hearts and souls to ensure that we will make it. But have you ever wondered that, in order to suceed in life, the emotional aspects of it is important too?
Why am I saying this all of a sudden? Something my friend, Sab, said struck a chord in me. She said:"dun u feel like you're back to your NS days where all you talk about is the army?" Thinking over it, I realised that I have been spending so much time on my work, grumbling about the endless amount of work, that I have neglected my own life; my interpersonal relationships with my family and my friends.
The amount of work we are doing will never end, but our relationships with our loved ones will if we never take TIME to nurture it. TIME..a constant factor in our mad world. Don't ever say there's not enough time...it's all in us to make it happen. Even spending a few minutes of our time to ask about how your day has been is enough to show that you care about them.
So go give a call, SMS or MSN to your loved ones to enquire about their day..it will make them feel appreciated.
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Thursday, July 20, 2006
I need a break..from the hard work..
[11:17 pm]
After slogging my butt for a month, I think I should reward myself with some good food...but I am not the one giving a treat..so its ok..haha..
Anyway, 3 of us makan kakis did say that if we got our jobs, we will give each other a treat..so this time round our dear ole' Jac is footing the bill at Ikoi..which apparently is a highly recommended Jap restaurant..after which we will chill out at a pub..
I sure am going to go broke this time..my 3 mates from the force are "demanding" a treat for becoming the first among them to be promoted and elevated to the grad pay scheme...bloody parasites..haha..but I promised them that already and after we finish our commitments to the country, we will do that..
What I really need now is a piece of good ole' black pepper steak medium-done with sauteed mushrooms and a baked potato, plenty of greens...the traditional english style and washed down with a bottle of ice-cold beer, just like what I did when I was in NZ..shyeet..should start planning for a trip down there soon...
Labels: Grumblings
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006
If you are the ONE
[9:23 pm]
If you're not for me
Then why does this distance maim my life?
If you are not for me
Then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me
Then why does my heart tell me that I am?
If you are not for me
Then why does my heart tell me that I am?
If you are not for me
Then why do I dream of you as my wife?
I miss you, body and soul so strong
As I breathe you into my heart
I pray for the strength to stand today
I pray for the strength to stand today
I don't know why you're so far away
I can't take it, I don't understand
I never know what the future brings
I hope you are the one I share my life with
I pray you are the one I build my home with
I wish you could be the one I die with
Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
If I can't be with you all the time
Just know that my heart is always by your side
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006
On Company Functions..
[12:16 am]
Observed something interesting today. The organisation is holding a function tomorrow evening and we have been decreed to attend it.Well, if it's a company function, you have the right to choose whether to attend it right?
So much for their efforts in building a cohesive workforce. Most of the people would rather they scrap the darn thing and allow everyone to leave office earlier to spend more time with their loved ones. If they can do that, I gurantee people will be much more happier and happier people sure will improve the productivity.
We don't need another of these "poser" company functions to waste our precious time on..I rather use the time and do something more productive, such as sleeping,reading a book or chilling out with a beer..what a waste of time..
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Sunday, July 16, 2006
Serving the nation..
[12:23 pm]
is all about sacrificing the precious Saturdays sleeping in, going for a jog along ECP and spending the time at stadium ensuring things are done safely. Mostly, it also teaches one how to socialise with people from other units/formations and the student usherers.
Minusing away the amount of sweat, I do get a good tan by standing under the scorching sun. There was an show for the primary school kids yesterday and it was a really satisfying affair. The atmosphere thrown up by the kids were really addictive. As my post were next to the ones with special needs kids, it made things even more satisfying by helping them.
And at the end of it all, the fireworks made things better..
If only you were there to share it with me..it's always better to see it together then alone..
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Friday, July 14, 2006
Rotting feet!!!
[11:40 pm]
The bane of all military personnel has hit me again..foot rot..the damn rot has stuck to me like a parasite ever since I came back from jungle school, which was many moons ago..
Now, itchy and miniscule blisters are starting to form at those sensitive crevices, and it really takes hell lot of effort not to scratch them and make them worse. So, the best weapon against them? The military-issued powder. I can swear by that damn powder..that thing do work against rot..just have to constantly dust them with the powder and presto..after some tender care, the feet would back to normal..but today after running at ECP, the feet were starting to complain of the torture, with the blisters threatening to pop apart..damn..but nothing will stop me from a run..not even teeny-weeny blister..
Guess sitting in the office is not far me..the feet are not moving, hence allowing the rot to propagate throughout..haiz..but other than that, I am finally seeing some resemblance of pattern starting to set in. I guess it all boils down to proper planning. If I can sit down and think through the important events 1 month in advance, things can be done easily. The problems will surface only when last minute battle injects come in, forcing me to do damage control, which ain't my problem in the first place..but at least I am starting to learn a new term call crisis management..so it's ok..at least for now.
Boss no.2 told me this morning that he would be sending me for a course..which is going to be "interesting"..after the end of this course, I think I will come out extremely fit..haha...
On the endnote, my good ole' friend is up to no good again..and I am going to be in shit deeper then I can imagine..that's the problem when one have too much time on hand and plenty of imagination to spare...damn..time to put on the fire-retardant suit and indent more pumpers to fight fires again..
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Wednesday, July 12, 2006
My thoughts on graduating..
[9:00 pm]
Remember my promise to all of you regarding my thoughts on graduation?
Well, today I will share my thoughts on them...finally I collected my Bachelor of Engineering degree and transcript..for which I spent countless nights and lost endless amount of sweat and tears..a wasted opportunity to get to know this bus-stop girl..come to think of it, I can still remember my shyness when she was just sitting right across me and I never did anything!!!..what a waste..
It was the people who made life in school bearable..especially those whom I made in uni. You are the people who changed my outlook on JC-kids..for those of us came up through the poly-route had always thought that the Air-Levels were, well...too academically oriented..
But after knowing you fellows, I found that we are all the same, struggling for that piece of expensive paper, doing last minute cramming, sweating out exams and spending sleepless nights panicking about the results..that we are just normal kids after all.
People I got to know in uni; Roy, PJ, Michelle, Sabrina, Joni, Shufen, Karen, Geraldine, Junan, Ivan, Mingyao, Gary, Wendy, Weijie and many, many more..you guys and gals brought joy to my 3 years of stay in school...even though we would be going on our separate ways, I do hope we would keep in touch..
The dedicated lecturers, well, some of them which I shall mention here; Prof Ooi, Prof Yeo, Prof Loh, Prof Butler, Prof "Spot", Prof Yeung, Prof Lim, Prof Ma, Mdm Lun..thanks for teaching me that there is more to life than just studying. In the words of Winston Churchill; "..So much was owe by so many to so few.." We owe our results to all your constant dedication, for making time available to answer our queries, give us revision class, etc..thanks..
I might lament about many things about the school, but one thing the school has given me are the memories; memories of doing welding during EID, mugging for exams at the school canteen till wee hours of the night, the thrice weekly runs around the campus when I was staying the hall, the midnite suppers that we went to, the kopi-breaks that I always have during the long breaks...thanks NTU!!
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Sunday, July 09, 2006
An Ode to the Nice Guys
[9:04 pm]
Spotted from someone's blog:
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point.
This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.
This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support.
This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.
This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.
This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn't worry about it.
This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.
This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: "oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you're nice like that.
The nice guys don't often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don't seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches.
Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as "oh, he's too nice to date" or "he would be a good boyfriend but he's not for me" or "he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn't possibly ask him out!" or the most frustrating of all: "no, it would ruin our friendship."
Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can't figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with this complete ass now!).
But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn't last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.
So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you're sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
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I do think of you..
[8:30 pm]
no matter how preoccupied I am with my work..you mentioned that I am starting to lead a life that you had when you were working at your previous employer..I cannot agree more..
Though I am bogged down by my work, I hope to spend some time with you..yet because of the need for you to look after your sister, I guess it will be difficult for the time being..oh well, I don't mind though..
But at least I know I can count on you when I am stressed out...thanks for listening to my rants over the phone during office hours when I was max'd out in my work..listening to your voice sure relieved some of the stress..
I don't understand but whenever we spoke with each other, I feel more relaxed, better than ever before..thanks for being there, for lending me your ear..likewise, I will be there whenever you need me..thanks...
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Tuesday, July 04, 2006
The time of the month..
[9:05 pm]
where the work load is the heaviest, the stress amount is the highest..where I don't even have time to go for my runs, where there are alot of fires to be fought..
One month into my job and I am already complaining so much..I wonder how I am going to get through the 6 years..haiz..12 hrs workdays, doing paperwork..a hyper active guy like me, commanding a desk, wielding the mouse, going for meetings instead of going for deployments, breathing the fresh air, getting all hot and sweaty with the boys..damn..how I miss that..
Somehow, I feel like a caged-in eagle, unable to soar high amongst the clouds, trapped among the turkeys..you may say that its part of working life, but my idea of working life is good rapport with the subordinates and superiors, not nit-picking and back-stabbing..
Perhaps you think I am naive..but I aim to achieve that..for it makes things easier..and talking face to face with people I am working with instead of sending emails is bullshit..I call it personal touch..yet my upper-study is saying its a waste of time..different working personality...haiz..
And I miss her so....
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Sunday, July 02, 2006
I Miss You In A Heartbeat
[11:40 pm]
I believe, that there's something deep inside
That shouldn't be from time to time.
I sure found out, thought love was such a crime
The more you care, the more you fall
No need to worry, no need to turn away
'Cause it don't matter, anyway
I miss you in a heartbeat
I miss you right away
I miss you in a heartbeat 'cause it ain't love,
if it don't feel that way oh no
When we touch, I just lose my self control
A sad sensation I can't hide
To love is easy, it ain't easy to walk away
I keep the faith and there's a reason why, yeah
No need to worry, no need to turn away
'Cause it don't matter, anyway baby
I miss you in a heartbeat
Yeah I miss you right away
I miss you in a heartbeat 'cause it ain't love,
if it don't feel that way
Now, I ain't big on promises,
I'll be true to you
'Cause I'd do 'bout anything,
yeah for some one like,
baby for you
I miss you in a heartbeat
yeah I miss you right away
oh, I'm gonna miss you in a heartbeat
'cause it ain't love,
if it don't feel that way
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Saturday, July 01, 2006
Some time for myself..at last..
[6:23 pm]
Sometimes its all about time management and prioritisation of the tasks at hand..something which I am getting better at as each day pass by..
Now, armed with a mega-sized calendar and a PDA, I am able to schedule my time effectively at least for a week. After stumbling along the way and getting some criticisms, I seem to be able to take whatever flak and arrows that's being thrown to me. One of these days I am going to upgrade to a Level-3 body armour for better protection..haha
Anyway, my future for now seems vague, boss-minor is trying to move me to another appointment and send me for a course within the department, which, pending boss's approval, might happen after NDP. And the interesting thing is, on paper, I am part of my old unit..that means I am on the so-called, "parking-coupon" scheme, which implies that I might leave this department any time.
The good thing about it is, boss-minor has given me alot of exposure to various workings of the department, which allowed me to know alot of stuff I have never known before. But this comes at a price, the more you know, the more stuff that will come to you. And the things that I know can be pretty scary in the sense that it affects our country's national security..yikes!!!
At least today there's no reahersals, which meant that I had some personal time. Managed to clear away some of the personal stuff, service the car, buy some books to stimulate the decaying brain and to plan the activities for next week.
Okok..time to go again..till then..
"Love me for a second and I will make that second last a lifetime"
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