Finding myself in the lost world..

Thursday, July 31, 2008

Learning a new lesson..

[1:14 am]

Felt that I got to write this before it starts to dissipate to somewhere..

Apparently sometimes guy's talk always work wonders, even though the intended party may not comprehend fully what they are driving across as they may still figuring what went wrong.

After so many years in a relationship, you feel that there are no longer any form of communication within a couple. That's when you start to feel whether you have drifted apart or whether there are any problem between both of you. A guy friend of mine explained that after being in a relationship for so long, you will reach a stage whereby everything is so neutral, that you are so comfortable with each other, that you take each other for granted.

You feel that there's no spark to ignite that feeling you once had. So much so that you start to feel that she is a nuisance. At this stage, will you break up with her? The fundamental answer to this question should be; Do you still love her?

If the answer is yes, then all the more both parties should sit down and talk about. A relationship is all about communication, communicating your thoughts and learning to compromise. It's not about yourself only. It's about taking into consideration of the impact to your other half in whatever you do.

I thought it was a good lesson to all of us. It made me think about what I would do for my the other half; that whatever I do, she should be in the part of our plan. I also learnt that in a relationship, one should learn to listen more and not talk too much.

If you ask me whether I still love her, I will tell you "Yes, I do ." And I have no qualms about that and she knows that I do. Even now, anything happens to her, I will drop everything and be there for her, for this is a promise I made to myself many many years ago. She is No. 1 in the priority chart and will always be.

Labels: Matters of the heart

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Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Depressed...

[8:20 pm]

Being involved in the the nation's celebrations is an eye-opening experience as it allows you to understand the planning process and the coordination involved in making it a success. I am proud to be involved in this and the rapport built up with the team.

However, it has also come at a price. As I have being newly posted to a new department, the expectations for me to perform is very high. I feel like I am being thrown into the deep end of the pool and left to struggle on my own without much guidance. It doesn't help that 80% of the time I am in the NDP office doing all the coordination, instead of being in the department to see and to be seen by my subordinates and superior.

I know my subordinates are upset that I can't be with them all the time due to my commitment but there's nothing much I can do. If the nation's celebrations screw up, it's my head on the board. It's my responsibility to ensure that all the loose ends are tied up.

The immediate superior don't understand and will only provid the occassional; "you better know where your priorities are, you cannot keep using NDP as a buffer..at the end of the day, is this going to be the only thing that you write in your appraisal?"

"Do you know what is the impression you are creating amongst the management?They think you do not have any clue of what's going on.." Whoa..such strong words...

Appraisal & Impression...these are the things which I hate. To have a good appraisal, the boss need to have a good impression of you. And good appraisal equates to good performance bonus and perhaps, a chance at promotion.

Yes, I do not have a clue of what's going on, but I am picking up the ropes from my experienced subordinates slowly when I have the capacity to do so. And I am not ashamed to ask questions when I am not sure. I just want to complete this tour of duty with as much knowledge as possible. But I do need the time to do so. You can't be doing this and NDP at the same time do you?

I do not care whether the appraisal is good or bad anymore. I just want to finish my term, ensure that things are done properly and move on. I have already saved up enough to start the first part of my plan and I am very tempted to do so.

I am very tired..really really tired..

Labels: Grumblings

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Sunday, July 13, 2008

Idiot driver..

[3:31 pm]

who can't park properly ought to be taken off the roads!!!

Now my shiny (now dirt encrusted due to the incessant rains) baby has her paint stripped off the bumper and part of her has came off the mounting clips.

It hurts me so just to see her in this pathetic condition..have to send her into the workshop to fix her up..

%^&£$% to the idiotic hit and run driver..may your ride suffer the same fate, for then you will feel the same pain as I do..

Labels: Grumblings

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Thursday, July 03, 2008

Planning for the way ahead..

[9:37 pm]

Finally I have done some planning for my future. Below is my plan categorised according to the most preferred option;

Option A: Join SIA after clearing the interview and medical board. The pro is that I do not have to pay a single cent for my flight training and I am guranteed a flying job after graduation. The con is that I have to spend 24 mths just to earn the conveted wings, which, by then I am already an old man.

Option B: Serve out my liability and pay my way through flight school. The pro is that the training time is 18 mths and I can join SIA after I finish all the necessary certifications. The downside of it? I am on-my-own for the next 18 mths without any allowances which Option A provides. Another thing is, SIA may not even employ me.

Option C: Take my Private Pilot's Licence during my final years in the organisation and complete all the necessary groundschool through distance learning. The pro is that I shorten my timeframe further, I am still being paid while I am pursuing my PPL. The downside is that flying would be a twice weekly affair as compared to a full-time course. I may not be able focus on flying while juggling my work, which is already so packed.

So what is the preferred option? I would prefer Option C as it will shorten my training time to hit the big birds. But if that's not feasible, Option A would be the best bet. But whatever it is, I will also plan for the worse and hope for the best. So God help me.

Labels: Random Thots

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