Sunday, September 25, 2005
Heading for my goals..and finding my limits
Yes!!! I have finally finished all the episodes of PRIDE..that's an achievement considering the fact that I have been busy all the time. I kinda like the theme song and the background music so if any of ya kind souls out there can find it let me know..thanks!!!
Well, this has been quite a long day..went for a run at MacRitchie reservoir..compared to the flat terrain of ecp, this was a challenge..but I managed to finish the whole 4.8 km..nothing much to boast of considering my ultimate goal is to run 10 km.It is one of my goals...something for me to work hard towards..a sense of purpose.
I always believe that one must have goals..if not, life is wasted wandering aimlessly around..You might say, will you be happy if the goal has been achieved? My answer is a resounding "Yes" because I know I have worked hard to achieve it.
And the fact that you are able to achieve it after all those failures makes it more worthwhile. Life is all about learning from all these failures..and when you have become successful, push further to find your own limits. The skies the limit as they say..haha..
But do not get distracted in the process like I did..many times in fact..Once you are distracted, your passion and discipline starts to be diverted to other "channels"..instead of the main ones. That's what happened to me..I got distracted by BGR issues during my university period and now I am paying for it..in terms of repeating my failed modules..it also affected my friendships with several of my long-time friends..
At least I have managed to learn from the lessons and have emerged from this storm with my pride intact. But sometime, there's also something missing..someone special to share my joys, sorrows and help me reach for the sky..perhaps she is out there somewhere..or perhaps she is someone who I pass by everyday but I have never noticed at all..Maybe..
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Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Projects, Assignments and Tutorials...
It's been more than a week since I last penned in my thoughts here. To say I was busy seems to be an under-statement because my life nowadays seems to revolving around endless tutorials, assignments and projects..
Ever since I came back from my trip, I have been cooping myself up in my alma-mater's library clearing the backlog of tutorials. Why my alma-mater and not the one in the university?
It's harsh but I am going to say it..the demand for study areas in my uni's library is not keeping up with the increased intake of students this new academic year..and the best thing is; the amount of reference books stocked by them is much worse than my alma-mater's...so that answers the question.. I have no love for my university..and I can't wait to get out of there...
Now that the term break's over, I have been staying late every night revising for my quizzes and clearing the never-ending tutorials. Even when I am home, I have assignments to rush through and in the process breaking my culture of "not bringing work home to do". My weekends are also spent revising my school work..now, how's that for no life??
Even my friends have commented that I look tired all the time..this is a sign of fatigue..which I have been numbing through huge amounts of caffeinated drinks..yet the mind is constantly thumbing through its own schedule, determining what are the things left undone and finishing them according to priority.
But as I fight my way through all these stuff, I have also come to realise I am starting to lose my ability to dream..something I cherish very much..for it is through all these dreams I have been able to map out what I want in my life..
Oh well, perhaps after the battle against the endless tutorials, assignments and projects are over, I will be able to start dreaming again...
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Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Back from diving..and fighting fires
Damn...finally I am back to the REAL WORLD again...fighting fire..doing damage control..all the joys of relaxing in the sun, diving in the deep blue seas seems so far away as I struggle to do 101 things at the same time.
The trip itself was so fun..I got to know more friends and of course, among them gals!! But to them, I am just a typical Ah-Beng,with each sentence punctuated by at least one expletive..they haven't seen what an Ah-Beng is until they see bbx..he is much worse than me..haha..
But what a whirlwind trip it was!!!.Did 3 dives on the first day, 4 dives on the second day and even though I did not have any underwater camera with me, my fellow divers did and so did some of the dive-masters. The photos were all circulated around and I have them now..once the rest are ready I will print them out and show them to my non-diver friends.
We were also initiated into Club Narcosis...which only qualified divers are entitled to ..that is plenty of beer and a throw into the sea to end it all...mine was a kinda over-kill...because I got thrown inside 4 times!!!
Anyway, fun's over and I have came back to fight fires...through coordinating our project meetings...it is so hard to please everybody and with so many changes in the plans, I am becoming frustrated by it..and when I make the changes, people question me why this, why that? I am like, wtf? If you want to ask so many questions. why don't YOU do the coordinating instead of asking so much questions??
If anyone sends me any of those "can change the timing" mails again, I am going to blow my top liaoz..this is wasting my time.
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Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Losing my ability to dream??
It was once said that being able to dream big and believing in it, we are able to conceive it. But I feel that I have lost the ability to dream or believe in myself anymore..time seems to be moving so fast that it has left me wondering whether 24 hours are adequate for me to do my stuff.
I have lost touch with my beloved great outdoors and instead have been imprisoned in the cold and stuffy confines of the library with books as my companions. I miss the fresh air, the cold draught blowing upon my face, the sun kissing my skin and watching the twinkling stars while lying on my back. But nowadays, my life are spent this way, doing tutorials, revisions and projects..with coffee providing the sustenance.
My thrice weekly runs have taken a step back over my school work..perhaps it is my lack of proper time managment..but I must get some form of exercise in me in order to release all the built-up stress. This will start when the term break ends and I stay behind after school to study..
All said, my ability to dream has been taken over by the need to understand my engineering coursework, passing the exams and sleeping...hopefully my ability to dream won't be neglected for too long till I lose myself too...
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