Sunday, April 22, 2007
Red Cards, Pink Letters and White papers
To tell you the truth, I have not seen any sunrise or sunset for the past fortnight. When I reach office, the carpark is empty, when I leave for home, the carpark is also empty..that's how my work schedule has been like...seems like my whole life has been revolving around my work; doing powerpoint slides for big boss and writing white papers
The amount of time spent at work has been a major source of consternation between my parents and friends..amounting to many "red cards" being issued out. Being a strong believer of not bringing the work home and the tight schedule is the reason for the long working hours. I feel that I have neglected my family and social life. For the past weeks I have asked myself, is it worth doing all this at the expense of my ever-shrinking social life?
When I look around at my friends who are getting married and dishing out those pink letters, I ask myself what have I done? Am I working so hard at the expense of going out to find a potential partner out there? Weekends always seem to fly by so fast without you realising that you have to wake up the next day and work again.
Saturday mornings and afternoons are used for exercising and lazing around..if there are no dates or chilling out sessions, I would turn in early or take the trusty camera out to hone my photography skills. Sundays are always reserved exclusively for the family and that practically takes up half the day; by nightfall, I rather not go out for I have to wake up early the next day.
So when a uni-friend of mine called up inviting me to his ROM ceremony, it was like; man, another one taking the plunge to the everlasting land of family-hood..of a happy ever after ending or what have you..makes me kinda edgy, you know. The best part is, to date, I have received a total of 5 wedding invitations for this year and its only April!!!
So, there I am, pondering my future and wondering whether someone will ever lift me out of the cold doldrums..that someone whose voice can lift me out of a lousy work day, whose hugs can take all the troubles away..whose character is as independent as me..whose light I can depend on to guide me out of the dark valley.
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Been feeling frustrated at the way things are in office. Boss has been non-chalant about the developments and progress of many issues, prefering to let us run the office and doing the disappearing act without letting us know his whereabouts.
When we are facing problems in our areas, we will ask him for guidance, only to be given more questions which will lead us to find the solutions ourselves..self-learning, in his parlance...but to me, is much more like directing the arrow back to us...haiz..Take the vetting of minutes for example, he can just glance through it and just correct the grammatical errors..instead of correcting the facts...even Big Boss is able to help me to correct the facts and guide me in the correct direction.
I can sense that Big Boss is also feeling frustrated, but then again, being a good guy he is, he won't drop the hammer on him..and the guys on the ground also empathise with us. So, meanwhile, we are struggling along to the best of our abilities and seeking the advice of the more experienced people to help us.
Even though I would be crossing the road to another place and simply adopt the "I don't give a damn" attitude..but like my ex-boss used to say; "Touch your heart and ask yourself, do you want to leave it as it is and pay for the oversight down the road, one where lives might be lost?"..I can't bring myself to do it..I rather use whatever knowledge I have garnered over my short span in the branch to make a difference..Labels: Grumblings
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Friday, April 06, 2007
I am getting restless, intellectually that is, nowadays. I feel a need to satisfy my craving to learn something new, to keep the brain active.
Even though my work is largely desk-bound and I learnt alot from reading many documents, I still want to go out to the society to learn new things. I have been looking around, to see what type of courses I want to take.
And no, its not the Masters course I am looking at, that will come few years down when I am financially more secure. A new language? Professional development course perhaps? I was actually contemplating against taking a Diploma in Psychology vs a French Language course; the Psychology course because I want to learn more about human behaviour and what makes people do what they do; French language because I feel that it's a very romantic language to master.
Let me do my research and plan the finances first before I decide on it..Labels: Random Thots
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Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Well, apparently some of my schoolmates of the opposite sex commented that I talk about my job too much..which in my friend's opinion, tend give people the impression that I am arrognant. If you ask me, I don't have the answer to that, perhaps you fellas can enlighten me?
He further added that I should tone down abit on that area and focus on more social topics. But the problem is, the type of job I am doing forbades me from going into the details..so how am going to tell them about my job?
Furthermore, I ain't much of those talkative types and while I can talk about anything under the sun, topics revolving around shopping and lifestyle ain't my cup of tea. I prefer to stick to topics on travels, adventures and stuff which is of the philosophical nature.
Perhaps, that's why I was one of those classified in the low profile category by the gals when I was studying in secondary school. I don't like to talk too much and even when I talk, I think they would understand anyway. At our age where everybody is talking about the best places to club and party, I am already saving up to get a car, a house and my further studies. When I talk about all these, I feel out of place with them.
My uni-friends are more understandable as we went through alot to get that piece of paper and with so much debt on our hands, we know that money is not easy to come by. I am frustrated yet I am confused..am I arrognant?Labels: Random Thots
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Sunday, April 01, 2007
Sunday..day of grumblings
Every Sunday doesn't fail to make me moody..especially as night falls..
Perhaps its the thought of going back to work the next day which makes me this way. Sometimes it's not only this, it's also the responsibility of being the eldest which makes it worst. I ask myself, why is it that my younger siblings can go out and have fun, while I am stuck at home with the responsiblity of ferrying the rest of my family around?
If only I can enjoy my Sundays in a way I want to; a morning walk by the beach, followed by a long brunch, reading a book over a cuppa..sounds good? but I would prefer doing this in the company of someone special..so unless there's this someone..Labels: Grumblings
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