Thursday, March 30, 2006
dreamt about someone while sleeping and the person appears during your waking hours?
Seems spooky but it happens. On Monday, I dreamt about sharon, wondering how she is now, worrying whether she is taking care of herself well, etc...and the next thing I know, I bumped into her on the train while I was on the way to school.
The first thing that came to mind was; got so xie2 men2 anot?..but nevertheless, we talked for a while before she alighted at Dohby Gaut to change trains. At least she is taking care of herself..but she really don't have a life though..clocking 12 hours workdays and going into office on weekends sounds like abuse to me..even when I was working, I seldom clocked anything more than 10 hour per day..unless I am out on deployments..
I always believe in a work/life balance..not matter how much tasks you have, there's always more to life than just working our ass off..I chided her about it, but somehow I understand her predicament..one of these days I gotta meet up with her, go for dinner and a walk by the beach like we did last time..
Okok..enough of all this..I gotta hit the books.Judgement Day is in 3 weeks time..and time is running out..
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Monday, March 27, 2006
Irregular dinner times...
are back again. It usually becomes part of the routine during the exam periods.Typically, dinner time is pushed back till 9+, 10 when I stay back in school to revise my work.
Of course, the fact that I prefer mom's cooking to that of canteen food is also part of the reason I rather go hungry and have a late dinner...haha..unless any of youpeeps are willing to pack a sandwich or two and bring down to school and give me?...erm..applicable to ladies only...damn..come to think of it, if any gal do that for me..I will sure will be touched..ok..*slap head*..quit dreaming...
This brings me to a point that has slipped my mind many times; how is it that people can be so lazy not to dispose the crockery after they finish their food? I have seen students who finish their food and leave the crockery there, letting the old auntie to clear up after them.
Typical excuse they will give;let the auntie do her job mah..if not how she earn her keep? These people need to have their teeny-weeny brains examined..this to me sounds like bullshit..
Sometimes I wonder..what's the use of having a university-level education, when your mentality is like that of a kid? Even those with lower educational qualifications have better manners!! All these fellas know is that, when I finish, people will clean up after me..not knowing that our canteen tends to have strong winds which blow the crockery all over the place and dirtying it..not to mention the birds who will come to feed on the food..
It is worse on the weekends, when there are no cleaners around..people will start complaining that why the place is so dirty?..how come no cleaners clean it up?..when keeping the place clean begins with us?
Oh well..something to point out on a dull monday evening..
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Saturday, March 25, 2006
There are no bad drivers...
only dumb drivers...they don't seems to understand the meaning of overtaking lane or basic road courtesy..
I was driving to school today and, being late,I stepped on the gas, bringing the big boy up to highly-illegal speeds..but alas..some dumbo was hogging the extreme right lane..couldn't overtake on the left as there were heavy vehicles.
Should had horned and high-beamed that fella, but I didn't..instead I just followed at a safe distance, hoping he would get the idea..finally he got the idea..and I zoomed past him like a bat outta hell..
Dumb drivers like them need to be sent to those re-education camps for re-training..to teach them how to give way, how to keep left, etc..And there are those who drive high-end performance cars to show off yet don't know how to handle them properly..driving next to them or behind them can really make us part of the road statistics sia..
The next type of dumbos are those auntie drivers..wah lauz..extreme right lane driving at speed limit..yah I know you want to be a model citizen, but please keep to the left..overtaking means for those who wants to risk their licence and speed..
Driving is a skill that we learnt to make our life easier, but it is a skill that needs to be perfected over time and not just for the sake of it. Learn from the drivers up north or from down-under..they are the type of drivers we should we learn from..
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Friday, March 24, 2006
and all of us will hail the arrival of Judgement Day..the day when you try to spit every damn formulas, definations, etc, from our wonderful hard disk...
All these data/lessons learnt are the culmination of long days of cramming, compressing and zipping...conducting dry runs using past year papers, spotting potential questions, praying and hoping the darn professors will throw some tips to us poor students..
The race is on, with people starting to fill up the library, starting their revision, hogging seats with a pathetic piece of paper saying; "This belongs to me..so buzz off!!"..and petty scenes depicting "highly educated" students arguing over the seats..etc..
Well..as for me, the race to Judgement Day will be starting next week..where the school canteen will be my second home..revising and clearing all the backlog of tutorials...so don't miss me too much and pray for me as I prepare my armour and sword for this final battle...
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Tuesday, March 21, 2006
for all of us who have fought through years of countless lectures, tutorials and burning tons of midnight oil to finish assignments, projects and reports...
The department held a photo-taking session for us..The Class of 2006..in front of the LWN library..but somehow it felt strange...the mood was exciting yet sombre..I guessed many of us are wondering..does this means that I will graduate with this class?..our compatriots of 3 years?
The photo-taking reminded me of a scene in a WW2 photo I saw eons ago..about this bomber crew posing for their picture in front of their bomber before they went out on their mission..and their plane was shot out of the sky by the Germans..not a good omen if you ask me..
It's goodwill on the department's part to organise a farewell tea for us, to let us mingle with the academia..for them to convince us to be part of the department's growing alumus..for them to convince us to take up research work..
But whatever it is, everyone is glad that soon the ordeal will be over soon..and that all of us can get out of this hell-hole and be the person we strive to be..what is the regret that we might have?..that I can't say for now...perhaps when I go onto the stage and take the piece of paper..then I will let you all know about what my regrets are..
Till then...
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Sunday, March 19, 2006
Been feeling pretty pensive lately..or have I always been pensive?..well..that's up to you all to decipher..
Whenever I am stressed out from the schoolwork, I will look up at the wide blue skies..looking at the passing clouds..hoping that one day I can be like Tinkerbell, fleeting through the fluffy clouds.
Everything can change, but the wide blue skies still remains the same, no matter you are here or in England, Africa or whatsoever.The sky is forever moving, yet never gone..the sky will not judge me from what I have done, or what I wanted to do yet didn't do.
People will say, get your head out of the empty skies, and get your feet on the ground..but, yet in my moments of despair from the stress of schoolwork, the painful yet forbidding world of love, family responsibilities, I was..like Richard Bach, lifted from it..just by looking at the sky..
Through it all, I found my solace by looking at the sky..for it is where I draw my source of strength to push through this torturous moments...I hope the day will come when I can go up and be closer to the skies which I have come to love during my formative years.
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Saturday, March 18, 2006
If only I could know you
I've watched you now for so long
If only I could know your name
And know your favorite song
If only I could know you
I see you every day
But everytime your inquisitive eyes look at me
I turn and look away
I wonder if you've noticed me with those beautiful eyes
That I try hard not to stare
But even if you’ve seen my face
You'll never see I care
If only I could know you
And you in turn know me
I wonder if there’d be a chance
That you and I could be
If only I could muster some courage
To walk right up and talk to you
To say hello and hear your voice
See what makes you smile
If only....
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Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Stressed..Tired..Drained..
are the terms that describe my state of mind now.
As Judgement Day (read: exams) draws nearer, the stress is starting to grow in intensity..sometimes I feel that I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown..somewhat like what Avril Lavigne described in her song;"Anything but Ordinary"...that, "..I wanna scream It makes feel alive..."
I have not been sleeping well for the past few nights and sometimes I feel that I am not in control of the tasks at hand..so much so I am starting to pick up drinking..which is definitely not a good sign..the last time I did hit the bottle that near to exams was like..erm..during my first year in uni..
I guess the fact that this is the last semester just makes things worse. The fear of not being able to graduate with the rest of guys is the driving force behind all these. I am drawing on all my energy reserves to survive this long struggle..but I am wondering, how much longer can I hold out before collapsing?
This is the toughest battle I have fought so far....
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Sunday, March 12, 2006
I wish I can soar into the skies..
and leave behind all the stress I am feeling right now...took a simple test just now..perhaps you may be interested to know;
1)How many places can you turn when you have enough of empty chatter?..None
2)How many memorable, real events have happened in your life for the past 10 years?...only 1 I can think of...my commissioning parade..
3)To how many people have you been a true and honest friend-and how many of them are true and honest friends of yours?...let's see, less than 10..so not many.
"You had answer not many..so in you, there's an emptiness in you..There's a special high place up there that you can find your answer to that emptiness..a place where a few hundred thousands have found theirs..."..perhaps I should seriously consider about taking up flying...
It's the same as diving and trekking, when I am doing this, I feel a sense of peace and all my stress and problems disappears instanteously..that's why whenever I feel stressed out, I love to go to the beach to marvel at nature or go to the airport to look at airplanes..oh what am I blabbering about...
These few days or should I rather say, weeks have been pretty stressful to me..but one by one, I have conquered the assignments, the quizzes and now, I am left with one more quiz on tuesday and 3 more assignments to submit..and this is not it...Judgement Day is coming soon and I really should start prepping myself and start revising.
The more I think about it, the more stressed I become...sometimes I really feel like dropping everything and fly off to some isolated place like Tahiti and not worry about anything..lest, food, water and shelter...But somehow, the stubborness inside me is telling me not to quit..that winners don't quit and quitters don't win..
I think it's perhaps of this stubborn streak I have inherited from the family that have kept me sane till this date..whereas people are starting to crack. Or perhaps, I am already past that stage and it's has been numbed up?
I think I am spouting nonsense again..must be the Hoegaarden..damn..I think I better stop here and go practice the sums for my maths quiz..
Till then..pray for me!!!
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Friday, March 10, 2006
What held out to be the day of reckoning got smashed...literally..
I was hanging out at the canteen, waiting for her to finish her class..and when I saw her, I trotted off after her..only to see her board the bus and the bus left..arghh..damned..*knock wall*
Sometimes I do wonder, if you really wish for something to happen, it won't happen, whereas, when you hope it won't happen, it just happens..and sometimes, fate can be cruel to you...by throwing in all kinds stuff just to spoil it..like my case, missing the bus, on different carriages of the train and making so packed that you can't even squeeze through..
We have bumped into each other six times in a row on consecutive days and I do wonder, is it mere coincidence or fate..the best thing about all this is..it happens when I skipped the morning classes or the late afternoon classes..so go figure..
I really felt that I could had done something today,else I would had regret for the rest of my life..but alas, fate have to do this to me..I do feel shitty now man..haiz..
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Tuesday, March 07, 2006
due to long nights staring the computer screen and transforming keystrokes into words of art....yah yah..doing my FYP draft..managed to submit it at 0048 hrs this morning..in softcopy format...so at least a load has been lifted off my shoulder..only to be replaced by other loads...
Self-study sessions and clearing of tutorial backlogs have been put on hold for the past week in order to give birth to this report, which I think is still not that good yet...and definitely will earn me a waxing session from my prof..hehe..
So in between the wait for a waxing session from my prof, which I think will come by next week,, I gotta do all these things;
1)Study for my M459:High Vacuum Technology quiz which is coming on thursday;
2)Meet up with the group to do M461 assignment..have no idea how to start it..
3)Compile M460 report which is due next mon..
4)Study for maths quiz over the weekend..
So that's what my life is going to be for this week and next week..in between that, I have been running into the "bustop" gal..straight for 4 days..most of the time it's bad timing, either she has gotten onto the bus and its too packed for me to squeeze up (yes, I getting fatter..courtesy of junk food and late night suppers), or she is on the next train carriage and its so packed..but the best thing is; she smiled at me!!! *beam*...
So Gods, just give me a chance by making the bus and train less crowded so I can board it and talk to her..*fingers crossed*
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Thursday, March 02, 2006
Yes yes..spent the whole of the dayhelping to clear away remnants of shit left behind by a kiasu fella..let me elaborate abit:
One of our friends happened to be too enthusiastic about forming up a table and getting hold of the engraved door-gift for the 1st 200...that he practically started smsing the whole lot of us about the payment, who's the organiser of the table,etc..
And it doesn't help that we have finalised the list and some of our friends are not happy with the seating arrangement, which was, in fact, flexible. I totally understand how they feel after reflecting it...it was all because of a mis-communication..made worst by dear friend being too enthusiastic..
In the end, he jumped ship and got hold of some friends to form a group..without telling us..but somehow..the problem got solved..oh well..most of the fellas,including me are pretty pissed by his act of jumping ship and letting us do damage control..
But somehow or rather, it's situations like this that let us realise how friends mean to us all and how we will go all out to defuse a situation..and that proper communication is important in any relationships.Look how a miscommunication can cause so much problem..haiz..
On a lighter note, I finally saw the gal today..but luck wasn't with me..we took different bus and was in different carriage..couldn't even walk over to talk to her..it was that crowded..damned!!!Better luck tomorrow I hope..
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all because of a stupid table arrangement. Oh yes, our department has organised a graduation dinner for the graduating batch and has extended invites to us.
As each table can seat 10 people, everyone is trying to form a table in order to take advantage of the bulk price for 1 table. But, the problem is, our dear group has 11 people and some of us are bringing their other half along...now that's where the situation arises. we have around 16 people and short of 4 people.
In order to make up the shortfall, we asked around and got a couple of friends to make up the numbers. Problem solved? Nope..instead, some amongst us are not happy that their table happen to have "unwelcomed" visitors. They voiced their objections and gave excuses to boycott the dinner.
I am pretty frustrated that they would want to do such thing. It's going to be a long time after the dinner when we are going to see each other again..and they have to do this. Everyone of us is hoping that we can celebrate and go out with a bang in this last bash..in the end, some elements amongst us are not happy with a teeny-weeny sitting arrangement!!!wtf sia!!??
We have one table formed up and now the second table is in jeopardy just because of some chicken-shit "I don't like him, why should he be in my table" mentality. Why should a happy occasion be marred by such childish endeavour?
In the end, it all boils down to protecting each individual's self-interests. Everyone is jumping on the band-wagon because of the bulk-price discounts.It's $5 bucks off every pax, so what difference does it make?I don't want to see all of us unhappy just because of such stupid stuff.
Tomorrow, some of us are going to hold a "tribal council" to discuss the options available. I am contemplating to swap seats with someone else from the next table to keep the integrity...lets see the outcome of the discussion tomorrow..
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