In a recent meet-up, someone noted that your faith in finding the ONE has never wavered despite having suffered many setbacks. The setbacks, ranging from unrequited love to being at the right place but wrong time.

While loving can hurt, it's the only thing that you know. The going may get hard at times but it's the only thing that makes everyone feel alive; that there's still hope in the world. Indeed, loving can heal and mend a broken soul.

All because, Love is patient and is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast and it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.

Are you fatally optimistic or what?

Maybe, but you have always believe, fatalistically by many, that the best is yet to be.

  

The axiom of Knowledge is Power can be a misnomer.

In your constant quest for knowledge, you read voraciously, trying to better understand the "Who, When. What, Why & How". With knowledge, you have constantly charted your path based on the lessons of others.

But knowing too much yet not being able to do anything about it can be a curse. It's one of those times when the phrase "Truth hurts" sinks in. It's like being cut by thousand knives, leaving lacerations which only time can heal. 

So is the pursuit of knowledge worthwhile given that knowing too much can be destructive?

It's a paradox which you are constantly grappling as the lack of knowledge often frightens you. The fear of unknowns constantly worry you and drives you to keep searching for more information. You try to find out how one is doing through Linkedin and Facebook; you read books/articles to build up the repertoire of knowledge.

Perhaps it's better to learn that one cannot know everything; that sometimes it's easier to be happy that way...

Your post-graduate classmates recently shared an info-graphic depicting the signs of burnout  from work (https://www.geeksaresexy.net/2016/09/25/20-warning-signs-youre-burned-out-at-work-infographic/). As you reflected on it, it became stark that you are indeed reaching burnout at an alarming rate.

Indeed, in your last post, you are trying to manage the stress through regular exercise regime, an occasional indulgence in comfort food and drink. But it does not seem to have reap any dividends. While you have considered weekend stay-cations or short trips to neighbouring countries to relax, the long term plan of saving up for the trip back to US, the purchase of a house and corresponding furnishings weighs heavily on your mind.

As much as you are worried about your physical and mental health, you need to be prudent about how your money is spent. Gone are the days where you spent money like there's no tomorrow. Now, for every purchase you are planning to make, you weigh the pros and cons before deciding on the outcome.

No matter how tempting that short trip is, if its beyond your budget, you wouldn't be going unless there's someone going with you. But for now, the only trips you are making are the business trips.

  

The month of September has seen you travelling twice within a span of 2 weeks while handling the migration of the legacy HR system to the new one. The heavy workload has resulted in an exponential build-up of the stress hormones and a higher than normal heart rate (You bought a wearable health device to monitor your sleeping and heart rate)

Even though you are trying to fight off the stress with endorphin through hard running and iron pumping, it seems like your heart can't take as much stress like the old days. You would have to moderate the exercise regime to prevent any potential health problem (You still want to be able to fly).

While exercise is one aspect in stress reduction, you often hope that there would be someone there to comfort you. Nothing beats a hug, a peck on the cheek or a pat on the back to keep you going. You know yourself too well, for under the 5 languages of love, physical touch is the key to a demonstration of affection.

But it won't be coming any time soon. Guess, you would just rely on exercise and the bolster for stress relief then.